10 Things I Hate...

...about autumn and winter months:

1. Last year, Oklahoma had a history-making ice storm. Power was out for over a week for most of the state, and there was millions of dollars of damage. Trees were so weighed down with ice that they fell, pulling powerlines down with them, snapping telephone poles, crashing through roofs... Oh, it was insane. So so so bad. We were all so miserable. And, according to the farmer's almanac, this winter is supposed to be worst than last year's. NOT COOL.

2. The mind-shattering stress of the holidays. Of course I didn't worry when I was young, but once I turned about 12, I knew how stressful things could get, and I felt it. Oh, have I felt it. The past four or five years have been so brutal to my mental health, along with my mother's, my brother's, my cousin's... Everyone stresses about a different issue (or ten), and the freak-out fest is not fun.

3. Though it is a good time for cuddling, sometimes, you can't find anyone to cuddle with. :'( In other words, loneliness. You see the couples, the families, and you feel envious. It's sad.

4. Slippery sidewalks and parking lots. I do not like falling, and it tends to happen. A lot.

5. The cold and flu season. I've found that avoiding going out to public places, washing your hands fifty times a day, and always wearing gloves helps prevent catching anything, but of course, there is still a chance. Now, I wasn't sick last year, but I was the year before. I do not want to get sick this year. I revert back into my 3-year-old self, and cry for my mommy, while not being able to do absolutely anything on my own. It is not pretty.

6. My reversed outdoor enjoyment seems to be an issue to most people. "Let's go outside! We should walk to the park! We'll play tag! Hide-and-Seek?! COME ON!" "Well, what is the temperature?" "I don't know, like, 45 degrees?" "Uh, yeah, you have fun." PUSSIES!

7. When I go out of town to visit the family, my anxiety kicks in and destroys me. It is not fun. I'm now on medication for it, and I typically get drunk before I go, but it can still be an issue.

8. Around the holidays, I worry about my father. Since my mother and I left, he has spent the holidays alone, and I never felt guilty, until last year. It broke my heart that I've just... ignored him, basically, around holidays. I realized what a bitch I'd been, and now I try to spend as much time with him as I can around the holidays. I don't like it when he feels lonely.

9. Occasionally, my favorite relatives (my cousin and her daughter, my brother, my aunt) spend the holidays with other people, or the other side of their family. Though it is a bit selfish, I always get sad, wishing they were there with us instead.

10. The memories that go along with autumn and winter from the past 17 years. The bad memories. The sad memories.